Just been in for a coffee

An 80-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with
normal results.

The doctor says, 'George, everything looks great. How are you doing
mentally and emotionally. Are you at peace with God?'

George replies, 'God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so
he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the
Bathroom, *poof *!, the light goes on. When I'm done, *poof *!, the
light goes off.'

'Wow, that's incredible,' the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls George's wife.



'Ethel,' he says, 'George is fine but I had to call you because I'm in
awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the
night and *poof *!, the light goes on in
the bathroom, and when he's done, *poof *! The light goes off?'



'OH SHIT!' Ethel exclaims.



'He's pissing in the fridge again!!!!

They've found him....

Who is the coolest guy in the hospital ????

The Ultra sound guy.


Who takes over from the Ultra sound guy when he goes on holiday???

The Hip replacement dude.

My mates wife has just left him. Took his satellite dish & all his Bob Marley records. Poor bloke. No woman, No sky.

What's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone?



You can't hear a vitamin






What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?


Full.