Wheel Spacers

OK so I'm on my final upgrade, wheel spacers, I bought the cheaper extended stud version, seemed simple enough to fit, take the wheel off screw on the elongated studs tighten to the correct torque slide on the spacer, only if they are all tighten to the correct torque they don't line up with the nut shaped holes in the spacer which means either tighten them or loosen until they fit. Tighten would be the obvious but it states do not over tighten. So if I did the nut up tighter would I be at risk of damaging something? I tried backing off the nut but by the time it lined up it was finger tight not good, so those of you that have fitted this kind of spacer what did you do?

Remove a little metal from the face and tighten again?

That's something I never thought of thanks.

The whole assembly will be put under the correct tension when you torque up the wheel nuts. Given that the extended bolts cannot rotate when the spacer is in place it is irrelevant how tight they are.